Dear L.L.

Dear L.L., 
   I have a problem!  I just broke up with
my stoner girlfriend, who hates me.  However, 
I still like her.  All of my friends say I'm 
crazy for still liking her.  Can you help?
                    Dumpy

Dear Dumpy, 
   What is your problem?  Forget about the 
stoner.  I'm sure there is some other girl who
is intersted in you, so give her a shot and 
forget about it.


Dear L.L.,
   I have a difficult problem.  I keep
hitting this one freshman for no reason.
I guess I hit him to let off steam because
he's younger than me and he can't hit back.
It's really fun to hit him and force him to
fetch my instrument, but he's starting to 
get really mad at me.  I don't want him to 
think of me as a bully.  I don't know whether
I should keep hitting him or not.
                   Rocky

Dear Rocky, 
   I think you should stop beating on this poor
young man and instead, be nice to him.  Why don't 
you compliment him every once in awhile on his
hair.  In fact, you should give him a couple 
of gifts from time to time, such as candy or 
money.